First word

Difficult to say — and hard to hear!

There is a good chance your very first word with meaning was “no” — and having said it you probably delighted in using it? It’s true that baby babble is often interpreted as “dadda”, but that doesn’t have quite the same effect as a determined “no”.

It’s the word that establishes independence. It’s the little word that gives your baby a feeling of power. It’s a controlling word.

But as we get older the word becomes harder to say! We are nice people we don’t want to disappoint someone so we agree while our heart quails inside.

We agree to do things we feel are dangerous. We agree to do things we know are wrong. And we agree to give our precious time to someone else, just because they ask and we can’t say “no”.

And other people take advantage of us!

One of the qualities that separate the new-rich from the less wealthy is the ability to refuse to do something that wastes time in valueless tasks and meetings.

It’s good to say “no” when it impinges on our freedom — and perhaps surprisingly people respect you more

“No” means “no”. People misinterpret our wishes and desires — partly because they know that we have often said “no” when we wish we had said “Yes”.

But that does not excuse the rape or mistreatment of a weaker person — man, woman or child. When a woman says “no” she is entitled to be taken at her word.

The law of consent can be a powerful protector. If you are not able to give consent — too young, too frightened or, sadly too drunk or drugged, then the law in socially advanced countries protects you. Inability to give consent does not permit it to be assumed.

How many times have you told yourself not to forget where you left the car, or the keys, or your purse? And how many times have you in fact forgotten them?

Your brain cancels out the word “not” and hears “Forget where…”

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