Good News

I am really unsure how to write this post without swearing… so I guess instead I’ll just say.. holy moly…

I used to believe that my oncologist was the expert of anything and everything cancer related. I thought this so strongly that I struggled to speak up and advocate for myself when things didn’t feel right. Even when dealing with an oncologist, each decision is ultimately mine. When I have met with doctors to see if I qualify for a study, the doctor can’t actually recommend the trial or sway me in any way. When I am referred or recommended a new ‘treatment’ (supplements, therapy, physio, chiro, acupuncture and oh so many more), this tends to trigger a whole lotta emotions. Another practitioner to explain my crazy medical history to, a new energy, time, and financial commitment. I then get stuck in deciding if it’s worth it, and putting it on my to do list for ‘one day’. These treatments are all optional, and up to me to decide whether or not I’ll try them.

Thanks to the GoFundMe I am able to explore treatment options with much less stress to find what will work best for me to heal. That’s an incredible feeling, so again — to everyone who is a part of this community, who read these stories, who donated to the fundraiser, who continue to support me in so many ways; thank you.It is truly appreciated.

On that note, in terms of health updates, I had an appointment with my oncologist this week. The lesion (bone tumor) in my thymus (throat) has SHRUNK!! Something must be working! This was a huge boost to keep up everything we’re doing. My next scan will be in January. Physically, I have been feeling good, but I have been on an emotional rollercoaster. I am stuck between being drained of all energy and wanting to live fully, which happens to make me quite sad. What I have tried to do is change my idea of what living fully looks like. Some days it looks like simply getting out for a walk. Other days it will look like traveling the world, dancing the night away at our wedding, or cooking and singing.

Earlier this week I posted a story on Insta to see if anyone had any questions for me. Thank you to those who sent some through! I am overwhelmed by the amount I can talk about cancer, and often feel like I overwhelm other people with it. Luckily this blog post is an optional read, if you’re still reading, I figure you must be interested… so I’m going to try to answer your questions in the next few posts. Here’s one:

Q: What questions do you get tired of answering?

A: I asked Jack this question as well and we couldn’t think of much! Personally, I prefer when people ask questions with curiosity rather than avoiding the topic altogether. One question that could be awkward is asking about what happens after treatment or when treatment is over. Right now, there isn’t a known cure for breast cancer once it has metastasized to the bones. My treatment plan is to control the cancer and slow the growth. This means that I’ll be on this treatment until the cancer outsmarts it and starts spreading again. There are other treatment concoctions to try when that happens. In the hospital, from what I have been told, oncologist’s don’t believe there is a cure. Outside of the hospital, there are people who have fully healed with the same diagnosis. So I am off to do my own research, become my own expert, and live through this diagnosis. I recently read a story from another young woman with a similar diagnosis. She chooses to live in full acceptance that her time is short because the disease does not have a cure. She won’t plan a future, buy a home, commit to a relationship. That’s not the life I want for myself. I’d rather live with hope than be left hopeless, even if it is seen as false hope.

I’m working on your other questions and will answer more next week! I’m looking forward to the holidays, we’ve had a tree since December 1st and I have already watched my favourite Christmas movies! Jack has next week off so we have lots of fun stuff planned, like getting our flu shots, and more Christmas movies!

Thank you for reading and following along.

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